While I realize that there are likely many, many more that could be added to this list, here are the Top 10 Toys that make my kids, and their friends, go CRAZY!

If you are already a parent, you know these toys all to well, you shove them in any closet they will fit, or any high place, when you know other children are coming. Or if you simply would like to retain your sanity for the day.

If you are not yet a parent, a word to the wise - Don't buy them! Don't let anyone else buy them for you either.

Don't get me wrong, I am all for having fun, being creative and going crazy every once in a while. However, forewarned is forearmed. Know what you are getting into!

1. The Makeshift Skateboard

While these toys might seem innocent enough, hours of loading blocks, unloading blocks, transporting toys ever so carefully from one place to another. This is far from what actually happens. Any type of dump truck, bulldozer, car, tractor or truck big enough for a small child to lean over, place their hands on and push will take about 4.2 minuets for your child realize you have just given them a miniature skateboard for their hands! They will start to push it around corners, into walls, into each other and every piece of furniture or object that happens to be on the floor! When whatever they have hit fails to be moved, they will hit it again and again, until it does move, especially if it's a kitchen cupboard attached to the floor!

2. The Magical Tunnel of Insanity

This may be a little more obvious, but also deceptive in it's seeming ability to stimulate creativity and play. After all these are good things, right? Yes, but some forms of creativity should be reserved for playgroups, outside, or other people's houses. Basically anywhere your expensive stuff is not. Trust me when I say it won't take long for that tunnel to turn into a jail, a sausage casing, a way to leap onto a sibling or friend without them seeing it coming, a sleeve and don't forget a spring to attach to your belly and bounce off of things!

3. The Microphone of The Rise in Earplug Sales

This one can be awesome when nurturing a budding singer, but be warned! Very often, in order to get to the "singing" stage, you must go through the howling, shrieking, mooing, barking, yelling and zerberting stages first. If you have more then one of these, be prepared to greet an officer responding to a noise complaint!

4. The Rally Race Shopping Cart

Who knew that there was a whole race dedicated to shopping carts and that it took place in my house!? Or, really one shopping cart, loaded with the toys everyone else was playing with and a whole bunch of kids chasing after it!

5. The Highly Coveted Tumultuous Tablet

I love my child's tablet and he learns so much from it! The issue with this toy is when the child to table ratio exceeds 1:1. It is at this point that it morphs from a beloved learning toy into the source of all angst and rivalry. One child at either end, each desiring to posses the gleaming prize. This rarely ends well.

6. The Multi-Purpose 8' Stuffed Snake

You would think this would be obvious, but apparently to me it was not.This toy has so many amazing uses! From a restraining device, so effective I think even a hardened criminal would find it hard to escape, to a skipping rope, a lasso, and what it was really meant for in the first place, an 8' snake for chasing people and striking fear into the hearts of little girls and boys everywhere!

7. A Large Innocent Bouncy Ball

Who could possibly be hurt by a light, fairly soft, non-aerodynamic, ball? After all, even if you could aim it properly, how would you get it to go any faster then a speeding snail? It could surely never strike with any force? In most cases, if you threw it, the most damage you might do is knock over a glass, or possibly a picture off the wall. That is, IF you threw it. The danger with having this toy in the house is that it rarely gets thrown. It almost always gets run with though, blocking the young innocent's ability to navigate. They quickly run into a wall, a chair, a table, or another child. This goes one of three ways -  The ball stops, they don't and they roll over the ball, landing on their face. They bounce off the ball landing on their bum or back and head. In some cases, as the ball stops they roll off the side, often on to some stray toy they have left laying around. Either way the fun abruptly ends. 

8. The Scrambled Egg Chair

This is one of those toys you wish you had when you were a kid so you buy it for your kid, all the while thinking how awesome it will be for them to sit in and play peek-a-boo or later read in and generally just be awesome! The truth of the matter is, though, that no one told you this chair swivels. Yes, swivels. Not even part way, in a somewhat sane and semi-controlled manner, ALL the way around and around and around. In no time this "cozy retreat" will have turned into an amusement park ride, spinning with breakneck speed. I kid you not, at least 30RPM has been clocked in our house. Maybe it's so bad, it is weighted in the bottom after all, right? Well, I don't think the designers took into account the centrifugal force of a 45lb, 5 year old spinning at 30RPM when they calculated that counter weight. 

9. The Dragon (or Dinosaur) of Doom

This is simply a case of children acting in the manner that they imagine this animal would act. Dragons, and dinosaurs, roared, bit, scratched, chased and were generally aggressive towards everything in site! While playing with these toys, said little people really have no choice but to follow suit!

10. The Rhythm Sticks of Retribution

These fall under a similar category as the microphone. They were purchased with the intent to foster you child's musical ability. After all, how can they be expected to become the next Phil Collins if they don't have rhythm sticks?? The problem lies in the fact that most children don't look at a couple of hefty sticks of wood and think "Oh! what an opportunity to make beautiful rhythms and hence develop my musical acumen!" Nope, most think "I wonder what this insert something expensive here will sound like when I smash it with this stick?" Yep, that's what they think, I am convinced.

So here you have it! In no particular order. I would love to hear what your "crazy toys" are and maybe even some stories about them?

Melissa Van Dam(CD DONA)
Melissa is a Orillia & Barrie Doula,
wife and mother of two.